I like to think it a success when the cops are called
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You made out with two different species that night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
