WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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