I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
