walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
