These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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