Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
