Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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