i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
