Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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