You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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