yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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