I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
