I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
