so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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