started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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