your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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