escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she peed on how many people?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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