I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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