Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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