Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
