shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
