Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
