u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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