I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize