life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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