nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
