please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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