Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
