I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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