i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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