So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
