The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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