sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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