No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
are you so shy because you have an std?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
