i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
