you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
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Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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