Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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