I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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