So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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