I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
