hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
barbara walters just said penis...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
