I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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