Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
