So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
