I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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