worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
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You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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