Don't make out with my wife yet
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
