I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
