Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
