Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
