Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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