Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
