I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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