Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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