Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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