Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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