I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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