I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
