I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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